[340 words]
Nice Guy
One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos, and a pierced nose.
Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. “Dear,” said the mother diplomatically, “he doesn’t seem very nice.”
“Oh please, Mom,” replied the daughter, “if he wasn’t nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
Attracted to Red
My fellow teacher called for help—she needed someone who knew about animals. As a science teacher, I filled the bill. “Oh,” she added, “bring a net.” Expecting to find some kind of beast as I entered her classroom, I was greeted instead by the sight of excited kids watching a hummingbird fly around. Rather than use the net, I suggested they hang red paper by an open door. The bird would be drawn to it, I explained, and eventually fly out. Later, the teacher called back. The trick worked. “Now,” she said, “we have two hummingbirds flying around the room.”
Tight Fit
Walking through the hallways at the middle school, a veteran instructor saw a new substitute teacher standing outside his classroom with his forehead against a locker. The rookie was heard to mutter, “How did you get yourself into this?”
Knowing he was assigned to a difficult class, the experienced teacherI tried to offer moral support. “Are you okay?” he asked. “Can I help?”
The newbie lifted his head and replied, “I’ll be fine as soon as I get this kid out of his locker.”
Time Change
Twice a year, we change the clocks for daylight-savings time. And twice a year, my normally punctual assistant arrives late to work the Monday after we do so. I finally had to find out why. “Do you have a problem remembering to spring forward or fall back?” I asked. “Oh, no,” she said, pouring herself a cup of coffee. “What gets to me is staying up until 2 a.m. to change my clock.”