Q: Why is everyone so tired on April 1?
A: Because they just finished a 31-day March!
Q: What goes up when the rain comes down?
A: An umbrella!
Q: What letter is like a spring flower?
A: The letter A, because a bee comes after it.
Q: When do monkeys fall from the sky?
A: During APE-ril showers!
Q: How do rabbits keep their fur neat?
A: They use a harebrush!
Origin of Milk
When I told my son where milk comes from, he asked, “Mama, how
do the cows sit on those little bottles?”
Straight Out of the ER
“Patient in to ER at 0400 with no complaints: ‘I have been having chest pain for 4 months but I am not having chest pain now. The reason I’m here now is because I heard that 4am is the best time to come cause there are not that many people.’ ”
“Had a woman call 911 because she ‘had déjà vu in the shower and got nervous.’”
“Got a frantic call from a woman who claimed she had overdosed and needed help immediately. We arrive on scene, and she hands us an empty mint container, saying she took them all. That night she learned that you cannot overdose on mints.”