February 2021, Vol. 40, No. 2 | Humor

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On the Lighter Side (February 2021)

posted on January 29, 2021

My Punny Valentine

Q: What did one light bulb say to the other light bulb on Valentine’s Day?
A: I wuv you watts and watts!

Q: What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
A: Hogs and kisses.

Q: Why do skunks love Valentine’s Day?
A: They are very scent-imental creatures.

Q: What did the painter say to her sweetheart?
A: I love you with all my art.

Q: What did Robin Hood say to his girlfriend?
A: Sherwood like to be your valentine.

Q: Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day?
A: A calendar.

Further Silliness
I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.
But if anything, it made him more sluggish.

A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. She whispers, “They’re right behind you!”

A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway. Police advise citizens to look out for a group of hardened criminals.

My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!”

How do you look for Will Smith in the snow? Just follow the fresh prints.

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