My Punny Valentine
Q: What did one light bulb say to the other light bulb on Valentine’s Day?
A: I wuv you watts and watts!
Q: What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
A: Hogs and kisses.
Q: Why do skunks love Valentine’s Day?
A: They are very scent-imental creatures.
Q: What did the painter say to her sweetheart?
A: I love you with all my art.
Q: What did Robin Hood say to his girlfriend?
A: Sherwood like to be your valentine.
Q: Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day?
A: A calendar.
I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.
But if anything, it made him more sluggish.
A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. She whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway. Police advise citizens to look out for a group of hardened criminals.
My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!”
How do you look for Will Smith in the snow? Just follow the fresh prints.