Missing!

UNUSED 5 [309 words] One Sunday morning, a preacher pointed out to one of the elders that the flower arrangement that sits in front of the pulpit was missing. The elder hadn’t noticed it, but he certainly did now. This elder pulled all the other elders to the side and asked them if they had...

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What Does It Cost You?

UNUSED 1 [312 words] A certain group of teens wanted to raise awareness about the plight of the homeless. They decided that for a week they would live like homeless people live. However, the activity was postponed due to weather! Isn’t that ironic? They said they wanted to live like the homeless, but don’t the...

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Two Mules’ Burdens of Earth

UNUSED 1 [324 words] The story of Naaman receiving a cure for leprosy has been well known in the brotherhood, having been taught by just about every preacher. Most of the time, however, one only hears part of the story and that is the command for Naaman to plunge seven times in the Jordan River....

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What Will Be Said to You?

UNUSED 0 [374 words] This past summer, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor lost in the primary election. It was the first time that a House Majority Leader lost the primary election in American history. In his concession speech, Senator Cantor thanked all those who were loyal until the end of his campaign. At the end...

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How Often to Take the ‘Feast of Love’

UNUSED 0 [359 words] I recently read a fascinating article by John H. Armstrong in the September, 2014, issue of Christianity Today. Armstrong starts out reminiscing on early childhood worship experiences in the denomination he attended. He writes that his church celebrated the Lord’s Supper “four times a year. I remember asking why we celebrated...

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In the Upper Room

UNUSED 0 [380 words] In Jerusalem, in the upper room of a house, Jesus gathers His disciple s around Him for the last time to eat the Passover feast. This was on the same night of His betrayal. There had been about three and a half years of association between Jesus and His disciples, but...

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Child-Like Humility

UNUSED 0 [321 words] “Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 18:4). As wonderful as children are, we as a society would think it foolish to hold children up as the ideal for adults to emulate in every way. Youngsters are shortsighted, tending to choose the...

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What Brought YOU Here?

UNUSED 1 [388 words] This morning churches across our nation will fill up with people gathering together for different reasons. For some it was the social interaction. For some it was to check the “go to church” box off our checklist. For some it was because someone made them. For some it was a habit....

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Leftovers

UNUSED 0 [396 words] I once knew a family that got a lot of free pies. The reason was that there was an elderly gentleman who had an unusual “tradition.” This man wanted his wife to fix a fresh pie for their noon meal. As I remember it, if this was not a daily occurrence,...

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Fault-Finding is Easy

UNUSED 0 [353 words] Most folk are eager to confess the faults of others, while seldom confessing any of their own. Often this is prevalent among Christians, who should know that their ethical standard is in reverse when they engage in such action. Instead of gossiping about a brother or sister whose behavior is inconsistent...

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Vending Machine Religion

UNUSED 1 [339 words] Sitting in an automobile repair shop, I was recently confronted with one of the biggest opponents to health—the vending machine. As a young boy, like a magnet I was drawn to the bright lights and the colorful display of pure sweetness found within every wrapper. The thrill of putting money in...

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The Most Important Days of Your Life

UNUSED 1 [323 words] No, it isn’t the day you were born, married, your children were born, or even the day you lost someone of great importance to you. Not to minimize the significance of those days, but these three days are the same for everyone, and in many respects much more important. The first...

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They Hoisted the Trophy Without Him

UNUSED 0 [392 words] It was a warm and sunny Sunday afternoon. My son’s Little League All-Star baseball team was playing in the Regional championship game. The team had won their first game earlier that afternoon to advance to the championship round. Just before the start of the game I headed to the dugout to...

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Conversion: Diet Or Lifestyle?

UNUSED 0 [344 words] I have lost 300 pounds: two pounds 150 times. Many have. It is one thing to lose weight. It is a radically different thing to change our lifestyle. Yet diets fail. All how-to books ultimately fail. Why? Because they do not alter the lifestyle. There are no shortcuts. There is no...

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The Hanging of the King’s Men

UNUSED 0 [321 words] “Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread. hath lifted up his heel against me” (Psa. 41:9). We have heard it said that history often repeats itself, and this was certainly true relative to the circumstances surrounding Judas Iscariot. This betrayer of the King...

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Let’s Not ‘Agent 86’ It

UNUSED 0 [351 words] If any of the younger generation is reading this, they are probably thinking, “Has Bill David lost what little mind he has?” while those of my generation are thinking, “Maxwell Smart?” One of Maxwell Smart’s favorite lines was, “I missed it by that much.” Whenever he would utter those words, all...

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God’s Wonderful Creation

UNUSED 0 [371 words] The only way we can know about the creation is from God who did the creating. Genesis 1:1 says, “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” Everything was created by the power of God. The first thing God did was to create light and in Genesis 1:4 “God...

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Cotton In His Ears?

UNUSED 0 [315 words] Sometime ago I was watching a baseball game on television. I noticed the pitcher had cotton in his ears. My first thought was he’s out there pitching with an earache. About that time the announcer gave an explanation for the cotton. He said the cotton was there to cut out all...

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God Made It Simple

UNUSED 0 [398 words] The church belongs to God; his by right of purchase; costing him the death of his beloved Son. Since the church belongs to God, it is logically called “the church of God” (1 Cor. 1:2). Since Christ promised to build his church, and paid full price for her with his own...

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Are You Overdoing It?

UNUSED 0 [311 words] Have you ever been accused of “over doing it” or “going overboard” when it comes to working for the Lord? Most of us might reply, “Not often!” Others of us might think we “overdo” sometimes, but we probably don’t. Still, being an “overachiever” and “go getter” when it comes to church...

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You Don’t Need the Book of Mormon to Know the Truth of God

UNUSED 0 [349 words] If asked why it took approximately 1,800 years after the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ for the book of Mormon to be revealed the Mormons will respond by say ing that the world was not ready for the truth. But is that true? Was the world living without the...

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Longest Speech, Shortest Term

UNUSED 0 [327 words] The shortest inaugural address was George Washington’s second, in 1793, and it was comprised of 193 words! William Henry Harrison, though raised a cultured, educated man, campaigned on a folksy ticket symbolized by the log cabin. To set a different, more cultured tone for his presidency, Harrison decided to give a...

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Lost Pit Viper

UNUSED 1 [332 words] “Danger: We believe there may be a dangerous pit viper lost somewhere in the apartment complex. Please watch where you step!” This may sound like the first line from a low-budget horror movie, but for some renters in South Carolina it is all too real. Management at an apartment complex found...

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Am I Your Enemy…?

UNUSED 0 [393 words] (Galatians 4:16) …if l encourage you (as a young adult) to work through emotions and look realistically (as much as possible) upon the person you are about to marry? …if l note your sincerity and effort in serving Christ and compliment you at every chance I get? …if I take note...

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Funny Jokes for Church Bulletin

On the Lighter Side (July 2014)

UNUSED 2 [396 words] A little boy and his daddy were looking at a litter of puppies, planning to buy one, and the daddy asked the boy which one he wanted. The lad pointed to a pup whose tail was wagging furiously and said, “That one with the happy ending!” – How Adam Had It...

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Handprints Aren’t So Bad After All

UNUSED 0 [347 words] The bags were packed, goodbye’s were said, and the children were excited as they prepared to go with their grandparents for a few days to Tennessee. My wife and I do not take a lot of overnight trips where we’ll be apart, but on this occasion she and the kids had...

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What Are We Leaving Behind?

UNUSED 0 [303 words] We are all familiar with news stories that highlight the “less than genius” decisions made by certain law breakers. Sometimes there are valuable lessons to be learned from these blunders. One particular criminal had been in jail for a short period of time when he was released. However, only a couple...

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The Importance of Honoring Our Parents

UNUSED 0 [369 words] Jesus’ mother, Mary, witnessed the crucifixion from the foot of the cross. Despite his agony, Jesus told his best friend, John, to take care of his mom, and to his mother he said, let John stand in my place as your son. John lived a very long life, and I believe...

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The Empty Tomb

UNUSED 0 [376 words] The first attempt to escape the fact of the resurrection of Jesus was the attempt of the chief priests who tried to explain why the tomb was empty! The guards reported to the priests, and even these Jewish leaders did not question the report that the tomb was empty! They did...

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The Story of Evil

UNUSED 0 [375 words] “Behold, he travails with wickedness, and he conceives mischief and brings forth falsehood. He has dug a pit and hollowed it out, and has fallen into the hole which he made. His mischief will return upon his own head, and his violence will descend upon his own pate”(Ps. 7:14-16). View carefully...

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Spirit, Help My Weakness

UNUSED 1 [354 words] Help my weakness of virtue. A primary weakness that we notice about ourselves is our moral weakness, our weakness in the face of temptation. Jesus noted that, like when we want to stay awake but drift into sleep anyway, we are susceptible to the weakness of our fleshly cravings. “The spirit...

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Getting What You Want

UNUSED 0 [394 words] Two little teardrops were floating down the river of life. One teardrop asked the other, “Who are you?” “I’m a teardrop from a girl who loved a man and lost him. But who are you?” The first teardrop replied, “I’m a teardrop from the girl who got him.” Life is like...

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‘But Amnon Had a Friend’

UNUSED 0 [394 words] “And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it...

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Funny Jokes for Church Bulletin

On the Lighter Side (June 2014)

UNUSED 1 [374 words] A none-too-alert motorist sat motionless behind the wheel of his car. The traffic signal changed from green to yellow to red and back to green again. Still he sat staring ahead. Whereupon a police officer approached the absentminded man and demanded: “Mister, don’t we have any colors you like?” – There...

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God Hates Shorts!

UNUSED 0 [370 words] You may be thinking that the title is presumptuous, opinionated, and even out of line. Let me disclaim what follows by asserting that God does not hate all shorts. He does, however, hate the following types of shorts. God Hates Shortcuts. At least, He hates humanly devised shortcuts for which He...

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Affirmation

UNUSED 0 [379 words] Humans need it. We want others to give it freely, not grudgingly. We want it to come without prompting and we would love for it to happen on a regular basis. However, most of us are of such disposition we do not need it every day or, for that matter, every...

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Selling the Old Collectibles

UNUSED 1 [323 words] While conversing with my father the other day we got on the subject of “collectibles.” I asked him if they (my folks) still had some of the old toys my brother and I used to have. He said they had several old toys boxed up in the basement. Turns out they...

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Involvement

UNUSED 0 [320 words] The Lord’s church consists of saved sinners who have entered into Christ through gospel obedience (Eph. 5:23; 2 Tim. 2:10; Mk. 16:15-16; 2 Thess. 1:8). Anyone who has entered into Christ is a “new creation” (2 Cor. 5:17). Christians are God’s “workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God...

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Like a Thief in the Night

UNUSED 0 [324 words] Have you ever been robbed? In December of 1989, just before Christmas, I returned home from college one afternoon to find our back door standing wide open. It had been kicked in by thieves who had robbed our home and the home of my aunt and uncle down the road. All...

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A Cost Analysis of Love

UNUSED 2 [386 words] God is love (1 John 4:8). In my opinion the best place to start an attempt to grasp something that is unfathomable is beginning with something we do understand: family. When our children were born, what joy they brought in our lives and oh, so many concerns. If we were the...

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