Scientists have found a way to genetically cross a praying mantis with a termite. In other words, they’ve created an insect that says a prayer before it eats your house.
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It was the day of the big sale. A long line had formed by opening time. A man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back amid shouts. On the man’s second attempt, he was knocked around and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got ready for a third try, he said to the person at the end of the line. “That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won’t open the store!”
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The preacher was opening his mail one morning. Taking a single sheet of paper from an envelope, he found written on it only one word: “Fool.”
Th e following Sunday he announced to the assembled congregation, “I have known many people who have written to me and forgotten to sign their names. But this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name and had forgotten to write a letter.”
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“What time does the library open?” the man on the phone asked.
“Nine a.m. What’s the idea of calling me at home at this hour to ask?” asked the librarian.
“Not until 9 a.m?” said the caller in a very disappointed voice.
“No, not until 9 a.m. Why do you want to get into the library before nine?” asked the librarian politely.
“Who said I wanted to get in?” the man sighed sadly, “I want to get out.”
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A boy was taking care of his baby sister when his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing so he took her with him. “I’ll never do that again!” he told his mother that evening. “I didn’t catch a thing!” “Oh, the next time I’m sure she’ll be quiet and not scare the fish away,” his mother said. The boy replied, “It wasn’t that. She ate all the bait!”