Alan Smith

Just a Number?

  [231 words] There is an old story of a census taker who was making his rounds in the lower East side of New York, who interviewed an Irish woman bending over her washtub. “Lady, I am taking the census. What’s your name? How many children do you have?” She replied, “Well, let me see.…

Looking Like A Christian

A little old Jewish lady is flying out of New York City on her way to Miami Beach. She looks at the businessman sitting next to her and asks him, “Excuse me sir, but are you Jewish?” The man responds politely, “No, ma’am, I’m not Jewish.” After a little while, she again asks him. “You’re…

Missed Opportunities

The story is told of a young man who wished to marry the farmer’s beautiful daughter. He went to the farmer to ask his permission. The farmer looked him over and responded, “Son, go stand out in that field and I’m going to release three bulls, one at a time. If you can catch the…

Contentment

[330 words] There was a father who was known by his family to be a chronic growler. He complained about everything. He was sitting one day with his family in the presence of a guest in the living room when the subject of food came up. One of the children, a little girl, was telling…