A mechanic was working on the motor of a car when he spotted a famous surgeon standing off to the side of his shop. The mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hello, doctor! Please come over here for a minute.” The surgeon walked over. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag, and said, “So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind ’em, put in new parts. So how come you get the big money when we’re both doing basically the same work?”
The doctor smiled and said, “Try to do it when the engine is running.”
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Aunt Matilda was astonished when the bank called and told her that her checking account was overdrawn. She offered this response as proof of her good standing: “How can I be overdrawn? I still have checks.”
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While the family was sitting around the dinner table, Jennifer, 5, turned to her brother, Andy, 3, and pointed to their dad. “That’s not your real father,” she said, startling the whole family.
“Yes, he is! ” Andy replied. “No, he’s not,” Jennifer insisted. “God is your heavenly Father.”
Then pointing to her dad, she said, “That’s your homely father!”
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As a young man was filling out an employment application, he paused over this question: “Person to notify in case of an accident.” Finally he wrote, “Anybody in sight.”
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Some Basic Wisdom
• Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.
• Self-control is keeping yourself from telling others how much you know.
• About the only thing you can do on a shoestring today is trip.
• Always remember the future comes one day at a time.
• If you think no one cares you’re alive, miss a couple of house payments.
• Nothing needs reforming more than other people’s habits.