Teacher: I see you missed the first day of school.
Pupil: Yes, but I didn’t miss it much.
Kid: I think we need a new teacher.
Mom: Why is that?
Kid: Our teacher doesn’t know anything, she keeps asking us for the answers.
Mom: What did you learn today?
Kid: Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.
Teacher: You’ve got your shoes on the wrong feet.
Pupil: But these are the only feet I’ve got!
Joe: What’s the king of all school supplies?
Moe: I don’t know. What?
Joe: The ruler.
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.