About two weeks into November, the head turkey turns to his second-in-command and says, “I have a feeling something’s going down. The farmer just unfriended me on Facebook.”
Q: What’s the difference between Election Day and Thanksgiving?
A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day. On Election Day, you get a turkey for four years.
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road before Thanksgiving?
A: He was trying to give people the impression that he was a chicken.
A potato and a sweet potato were playing on the playground. The sweet potato told the potato, “Hey, I just found out I’m related to you.” The potato said, “No, you’re not!” and the sweet potato replied, “Yes, I yam.”
All in a Day’s Work
Old ranch owner John farmed a small ranch in Montana. The Montana Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his workers and sent an agent out to interview him. “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,” demanded the agent. “Well,” replied old John, “There’s my ranch hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 a week plus free room and board. Then there’s the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90 percent of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, and pays his own room and board.” “That’s the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit,” says the agent. “That would be me,” replied old rancher John.