Just the Nine of Us
In Budapest, a man goes to the preacher and complains, “Life is unbearable. There are nine of us living in one room. What can I do?”
The preacher answers, “Take your goat into the room with you.”
The man in incredulous, but the preacher insists. “Do as I say and come back in a week.”
A week later the man comes back looking more distraught than before. “We cannot stand it,” he tells the preacher. “The goat is filthy.”
The preacher then tells him, “Go home and let the goat out. And come back in a week.”
A radiant man returns to the preacher a week later, exclaiming, “Life is beautiful. We enjoy every minute of it now that there’s no goat—only the nine of us!”
Unfortunately many homes, yes even so-called Christian homes, are like the one in which the little girl pointed to the Bible on the mantle that was never opened, and said to her mother, “Whose book is that?”
Her mother quite startled by her daughters question replied, “Why honey, don’t you know? That is God’s book!”
The child demonstrating that she had a very practical turn to her mind said, “Don’t you think that we had better give it back to him? No one around here ever reads it.”
A Sure Bet
A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of Morris, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, Morris had enough.
“Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?” he said. “I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won’t be able to wheel back.”
“You’re on, old man,” the braggart replied. “It’s a bet! Let’s see what you got.”
Morris reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, “All right. Get in.”
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?”
A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, “A basketball coach?”
Hit and Run
The hit-and-run victim was just getting to his feet when a policeman ran up to help. “My mother-in-law just tried to run me over!” the shaken man told the cop.
“The car hit you from behind,” the officer said. “How could you tell it was your mother-in-law?”
“I recognized the laugh!” he replied.