Worst Sermon Ever
A preacher was suddenly called out of town and he asked the new youth minister to conduct services on Sunday. When he returned, he asked his wife how the young man had done. “Not so well,” she reported. “It was the poorest sermon I had ever heard—nothing to it at all.” Meeting the youth minister later, the preacher asked him how he had managed. “Pretty good, I guess,” replied the young man. “As I did not have time to prepare anything myself, I just used one of your old sermons.”
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“An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.” — Earl Wilson
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“There has never been a smoke detector as efficient as the mother of a 14-year-old with his first cigarette.” — James Holt McGavran
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Grandchild’s View
A grandson was visiting his grandma one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?”
She mentally polished her halo, and asked, “No, how are we alike?”
“You’re both old,” he replied.
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Good Reason for Quiet Children
A mother was having a difficult time getting her young son to be quiet during the preaching. Finally, she leaned over and whispered something to him. From that point on he sat still and was quiet as a mouse. A person who had observed this asked the mother after services if she would share what she had told her young son in order to get him to behave the way he did. She said, “I told him he was disturbing the preacher and if he lost his place in his lesson, he would have to start all over again.”
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Like Father, Like Son
A father, mother, and their three sons, John (the oldest), Mike (middle), and Steve (youngest), were conversing around the table after dinner.
The subject of traits of parents being passed on to children came up.
The father said, “John has my eyes, Mike has my creativity, and Steve has my intelligence.”
Steve responded, “Daddy, what’s intelligence?”