Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
—
Working for God doesn’t pay much. But His retirement plan is out of this world!
—
Job Description
Personnel Director: “What previous experience have you had and what work have you done?”
Applicant: “I was a secretary. All I had to do was look like a girl, think like a man, act like a lady, and work like a dog.”
—
Born Again
An irate subscriber stormed into a newspaper office waving the current edition, asking to see “whoever wrote the obituary column.” After being referred to a young reporter, he stormed, “You can see I’m very much alive, and you’ve put me in the obituary column. I demand a retraction.”
Replied the reporter, “I never retract a story. But I tell you what I’ll do. I’ll put you in the birth column and give you a fresh start” (Proverbs 17:22).
—
Small World
An elderly lady was escorting two little girls around the zoo. While they were looking at the storks, she told them the legend of how the birds were instrumental in bringing the newborn girls to their mothers. The children looked at each other in astonishment and one whispered to the other, “Don’t you think maybe we better tell her the truth?”
—
Whatever You Say
Customer: “Hey, you gave me the wrong change!”
Cashier: “Sir, you stepped away from the counter. There’s nothing I can do about it now.”
Customer: “Well, okay. Just thought you would like to know you gave me twenty dollars too much.”
—
The teacher of the Earth Science class was lecturing on map reading. He spent the class time explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes. “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes longitude…” A student’s voice broke the confused silence. “I guess you’d be eating alone, sir. “