On the Lighter Side (July 2024)

It’s All in How You Look at It

A fisherman returned to shore with a giant marlin that was bigger and heavier than he was. On the way to the cleaning shed, he ran into a second fisherman who had a stringer with a dozen baby minnows. The second fisherman looked at the marlin, then turned to the first fisherman and said, “Only caught one, eh?”

Maybe you’ve heard about the family that became fed up with life in the big city, so they decided to move to the country and try their hand at living in the wide open spaces. Intending to raise beef cattle, the family purchased a large, western ranch. About a month later, some friends came to visit and inquired as to what they had named the ranch. The husband said, “Well, I was partial to the Flying-W. My wife wanted to call it the Suzie-Q. One of our sons liked the Bar-J and the other suggested the Lazy-Y. So we compromised and now we call it the Flying-W, Suzy-Q, Bar-J, Lazy-Y Ranch.” Then one of the friends asked, “Where are all of your cattle?” The man replied, “Uh, we don’t have any. None of them survived the branding!”

Frankie came thundering down the stairs, much to his father’s annoyance. “Frankie,” he called, “How many more times have I got lo tell you to come down the stairs quietly? Now, go back up and come down like a civilized human being.”

There was a silence, and Frankie reappeared in the front room. “That’s better,” said his father. “Now will you always come downstairs like that?” 

“Okay with me,” said Frankie. “I slid down the banister.”

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said, “Watson, look up and tell me what you see.” Watson said, ” I see millions and millions and millions of stars.”

Holmes asked, “And what does that tell you?” Watson replied, “Astronomically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes answered simply, “Somebody stole our tent.”

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