The Good Samaritan
Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the good Samaritan. She asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?” A thoughtful little girl broke the silence, “! think I’d throw up.”
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Golfing Fun
A golfer’s ball landed on an extremely large anthill. Instead of moving the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. After a mighty swing with dirt and ants flying through the air, the golf ball lay exactly in the same spot. He swung three more times with the same results. Two ants had survived the onslaught. One dazed ant asked the other, “What are we going to do?” His fellow ant replied, “I don’t know about you, but I’m going to get on the ball!”
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Wife:“I love you.”
Husband: “I love you too.”
Wife: “Prove it. Scream it to the world!”
Husband: (whispers in her ear) “I love you.”
Wife: “Why’d you whisper to me?”
Husband: “Because you are my world.“
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Little Girls
My son and I were sitting in the living room when my second granddaughter opened the front door and yells, “Daddy, Sister threw a rock at me.” Then from the front yard, “She threw one at me first.” The second granddaughter said, “Yeah, but I missed!”
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Whv Are Fire Trucks Red?
Fire trucks have 4 wheels and 8 firefighters, and 4 plus 8 equals 12. There are 12 inches in a foot. A foot is a ruler. Queen Elizabeth is a ruler and the Queen Elizabeth is one of the largest ships on the seven seas. Seas have fish. Fish have fins. The Finns fought the Russians. The Russians are red. Fire trucks are always rushin’. Therefore, fire trucks are usually red. Now, if you think that is wild, you ought to hear some people trying to explain why they are not attending Bible Study and worship on Sundays and mid-week Bible classes!
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A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride’s side and groom’s side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was gelling more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, “I was being the Ring Bear.”
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A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. “Daddy, what happened to him?” the boy asked. “He went to Heaven,” replied the Dad. The boy thought a moment and said, “Did God throw him back down?”