Christmas Dad Jokes
Q: What do elves do after school?
A: Gnome-work.
Q: What does Santa Claus keep on his mantle?
A: Nick-nacks.
Q: Where does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
A: In the dictionary.
Q: Why is Santa such a good shopper?
A: Because he makes a list, then checks it twice.
Q: How do elves know how to make toys?
A: They’re elf-taught.
Q: How much does Santa pay his reindeer?
A: Eight bucks.
Q: How do elves produce toys so quickly?
A: They make short work of it.
Q: What did one snowman say to the other?
A: I only have ice for you.
Q: Why do wiener dogs love winter?
A: They like to dachshund through the snow.
Q: Why do reindeer have fur coats?
A: Because they don’t fit into parkas.
Q: What did the reindeer say to Santa?
A: Nothing. Reindeer can’t talk.
Q: What do you call a reindeer with only two legs?
A: Eileen.
Q: What do you call a reindeer with three eyes?
A: Reiiindeer.
Q: Why can’t Santa spell “elf?”
A: Because he has noel.
Q: Why did Santa go to the podiatrist?
A: He had mistletoes.
Q: What do you call a snowman who works out?
A: An abdominal snowman.
Q: Why don’t Santa’s elves like to share?
A: They’re elfish.