The Church Roll and Body Parts

[532 words] In our ongoing efforts to be the church, the body of Christ, I can’t help but wonder if many folks are missing some vital points. We rightly preach baptism for remission of sins (Acts 2:38). We rightly teach that it is God who adds us to his church (Acts 2:47), and ultimately, he…

Not One More

[251 words] June 28, 2014 marked the 100-year anniversary of the assassination of Archduke Francis Ferdinand and his wife, Sophie, of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. Their deaths led directly to World War I, which would begin exactly one month later on July 28. The Archduke and his wife were shot as they rode in an open-air…

The Hanging of the King’s Men

[321 words] “Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread. hath lifted up his heel against me” (Psa. 41:9). We have heard it said that history often repeats itself, and this was certainly true relative to the circumstances surrounding Judas Iscariot. This betrayer of the King of kings…

The Three R’s of a Great Marriage

[513 words] June is definitely the month for weddings, and this past June I presided over two weddings and attended another one. Weddings are stressful, but exciting times. It’s very moving to witness the joining of the lives of a man and a woman in holy matrimony. It brings to mind thoughts of optimism and…

Destructive Weapons

[150 words] Bombs are destructive weapons of warfare. A hand grenade will not kill as many people as an atomic bomb but it is still deadly. Land mines are destructive even though they are hidden from view. Peter uses the word “destructive” when he describes false teachers (2 Peter 2:1). Peter is writing this to…

Pig With a Wooden Leg

[269 words] A lady from the city was visiting members of her family who owned a farm. As she talked to the farmer, she noticed a pig in the backyard with a wooden leg. “What happened to that pig!” the woman asked. “Oh, that’s Betsy,” the farmer said. “She’s a fine pig! One night while…

Would You Eat One?

[231 words] I don’t know how many of you have seen nutria. But if you fish in Louisiana you have seen them. They live near the water, and look like rats. They are not native to Louisiana and can and do destroy our wetlands. There is a move to convince people to hunt, kill, and…

This Man Receives Sinners

[177 words] “Now the tax collectors and the sinners were coming near Him to listen to Him. Both the Pharisees and the scribes began to grumble, saying, ‘This man receives sinners and eats with them'” (Lk 15:1-2). A.T. Robertson comments that there was a yawning chasm between these two groups. The Pharisees were grumbling, and…

Leading Others Into Sin

[467 words] The Bible teaches that judgment day is coming. On this future and final day, we will stand before the judgment seat of Christ and give an account of the things we have done in our bodies (2 Corinthians 5:10). The Scriptures reveal that we will be judged individually and personally: “So then every…

Our Greatest Concern

[286 words] Paul was a world traveler. He was a terrific pen pal. He was a teacher. Paul practiced the craft of tent making. He enjoyed reading. He had some health problems. He seemed to enjoy athletics. He was a fund raiser for the hungry of Judah. He had a healing ministry. He worked hard,…

Let’s Not ‘Agent 86’ It

[351 words] If any of the younger generation is reading this, they are probably thinking, “Has Bill David lost what little mind he has?” while those of my generation are thinking, “Maxwell Smart?” One of Maxwell Smart’s favorite lines was, “I missed it by that much.” Whenever he would utter those words, all of us…

God’s Wonderful Creation

[371 words] The only way we can know about the creation is from God who did the creating. Genesis 1:1 says, “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” Everything was created by the power of God. The first thing God did was to create light and in Genesis 1:4 “God called the…

To Have and to Lose

[542 words] There is “a time to get, and a time to lose” (Ecc. 3:6). Suffering loss is a part of living. We lose money. We lose health. We lose friends. We lose loved ones. We lose our happiness. Life is a constant cycle of ups and downs, gains and losses. Circumstances beyond our control…

Chutzpah

[112 words] Yiddish is a fascinating language. Its words capture nuances other languages miss. One such word is chutzpah, loosely defined as “unmitigated gall.” Its meaning is better illustrated: A woman street vendor sold a delicacy for a quarter. One man gave her a quarter every day, but never took a cookie. After several years,…

Without Error?

[259 words] We know better than to think we are without sin. The Bible plainly tells us, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us,” and “If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us” (1…

Cotton In His Ears?

[315 words] Sometime ago I was watching a baseball game on television. I noticed the pitcher had cotton in his ears. My first thought was he’s out there pitching with an earache. About that time the announcer gave an explanation for the cotton. He said the cotton was there to cut out all of the…

Old Age

[107 words] A little boy asked his grandpa, “Grandpa, were you in the ark?” “No, I wasn’t Billy,” grandpa said. The perplexed little boy replied, “Then, why didn’t you drown?” Regardless of modem views, old age is not a disease! In fact, the Bible represents old age as an asset. The faithful aged person has…

God Made It Simple

[398 words] The church belongs to God; his by right of purchase; costing him the death of his beloved Son. Since the church belongs to God, it is logically called “the church of God” (1 Cor. 1:2). Since Christ promised to build his church, and paid full price for her with his own blood (Acts…

Keeping Spiritual Focus

[265 words] As Christians, we know what we need to think about most in life: 1) God—His greatness, goodness, power, love, mercy, grace, care and protection;. 2) Christ—His life, teaching, death for our sins, burial, resurrection, ascension, intercession, and second coming; 3) the church—the privilege of membership in it, our involvement, service, spiritual growth, and…

The Wise May Bring Their Learning

[135 words] The wise may bring their learning,The rich may bring their wealth,And some may bring their greatness,And some bring strength and health;We, too, would bring our treasuresTo offer to the King;We have no wealth or learning;What shall we children bring? We’ll bring Him hearts that love Him;We’ll bring Him thankful praise,And young souls meekly…

Mind Garden

[19 words] Your mind is a garden,Your thoughts are the seeds.You can grow flowers,Or you can grow weeds…. This content is for Annual and Lifetime Members only! Please log in or register to use our free church bulletin resources, or start an Annual Membership and get bulletin articles weekly by email, our exclusive Preaching Ideas…

God’s Eternal Plan

[211 words] The purpose of our meeting at the Lord’s Table each week is to bring to remembrance the eternal plan of God to offer His Son as a sacrifice for the sins of the world. In the ages before Christ’s time, God’s people had offered animal sacrifices to have their sins rolled forward, but…

When Band-Aids Are Not Enough

[231 words] Every medicine cabinet should have a supply of Band-Aids of various sizes. They are excellent for keeping small cuts and scrapes clean and making “boo-boo’s” feel better. However, Band-Aids are inadequate treatments for cancerous tumors, broken femurs, or blocked arteries. This insight is true in our personal lives as well. A smile and…

Slacking Off

[238 words] The tendency of some modern Christians is like that of our ancient brothers who received the New Testament epistle known as “Hebrews.” These folks had not grown in their relationship with Christ (5:12-14); were beginning to forsake the assembly (10:25); had become spiritually sluggish in their religious activities (6:12); and were on the…

Taking the Heat

[93 words] In the early 1970’s the firefighters of Fairfax County, Virginia, received new helmets. They were sharp looking, colorful, size-adjustable, made of high-impact plastic, and scuff-resistant. There was only one problem with the helmets: when they were worn near the heat of a fire, they melted. This, of course, made them useless to firefighters;…

Your Problem is You!

[298 words] Who is your biggest opponent? Who gives you the most trouble? From whom do most of your challenges and struggles come? You may already have the culprit identified. Chances are, you may be wrong. You likely have looked this person in the face today, probably more than once. It was that person looking…

A Poke in the Eye With a Sharp Stick

[274 words] A good friend in Lake City, Florida, uses this title phrase as an exaggerated way of expressing how good or enjoyable a thing is. He will say, “Why, that is better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.” The Lord used something similar to warn the Israelites of the dangers…

Are You Overdoing It?

[311 words] Have you ever been accused of “over doing it” or “going overboard” when it comes to working for the Lord? Most of us might reply, “Not often!” Others of us might think we “overdo” sometimes, but we probably don’t. Still, being an “overachiever” and “go getter” when it comes to church work is…

The Fruit of the Spirit

[263 words] In Galatians 5:22-23 the apostle Paul wrote, “Now the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.” Using the analogy of fruit, Paul here describes the sweet qualities that the Holy Spirit will produce in the lives of faithful Christians. But…

You Don’t Need the Book of Mormon to Know the Truth of God

[349 words] If asked why it took approximately 1,800 years after the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ for the book of Mormon to be revealed the Mormons will respond by say ing that the world was not ready for the truth. But is that true? Was the world living without the truth, the…

Courage

[244 words] In the year 404 a monk by the name Telemachus traveled to Rome and was shocked beyond measure at the cruelty of the gladiatorial contests. Telemachus leaped over the railing of the Coliseum and tried to stop the gladiator s from hacking themselves to pieces by repeated cries of “In the name of…
Funny Jokes for Church Bulletin

On the Lighter Side (August 2014)

[436 words] Donna’s father was visiting for a week, and since he was a pretty good fix-it man, she left him a note before she went to work. It read: “Dad, mileage counter on treadmill not working. Any ideas? Love, Donna.” When she returned home, she read his reply: “Donna, walk until you get tired.…