The question above comes from 2 Samuel 18:32. Absalom, David’s son, had tried to wrest the kingdom from his father. He had slept with the ten concubines (wives) of his father. David had to flee his home when he heard Absalom was staging a coup and left these women to tend the house/palace. There is no doubt that Absalom was a danger to his father the king or anyone else for that matter.
David finally takes advice from his military commanders to go to war with his son, Absalom and his soldiers. Before his commanders take the field, David makes a request/command: (2 Samuel 18:5) Now the king had commanded Joab, Abishai, and Ittai, saying, “Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom.” ‘And all the people heard when the king gave all the captains orders concerning Absalom.’ Joab, his top commander, disobeys the command, along with ten other soldiers, and kills Absalom as he was tangled in a tree.
In chapter 19:1, we see David mourning Absalom. It caused a national panic and grieving. The people didn’t understand why David was mourning when the kingdom had restored! Joab goes to David and rebukes him: (2 Samuel 19:5‐6) Then Joab came into the house to the king, and said, “Today you have disgraced all your servants who today have saved your life, the lives of your sons and daughters, the lives of your wives and the lives of your concubines, “in that you love your enemies and hate your friends. For you have declared today that you regard neither princes nor servants; for today I perceive that if Absalom had lived and all of us had died today, then it would have pleased you well.” David finally goes out and does a fair job of uniting everyone again.
What is the point? We must not put our personal matters before what is right with God, Christ, or the church (God’s people). We know that putting God first is priority one. Everything must come after that. David was wrong to put his disobedient and dangerous son ahead of everyone, even himself! Following God isn’t always easy, but we have to do what is right first. Always!
Clarendon church of Christ