On the Lighter Side

The minister had been invited back to dinner after coming two months prior. Immediately after giving thanks for the food, one of the children said, “Know what? That’s the first time we’ve said grace since you ate with us before!

I’ve started a new exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times.

A little boy had just finished off all the cookies in the kitchen. His mother came in and, seeing the empty cookie jar and the crumbs, said to the wee lad, “Son, who ate all the cookies?” The little boy replied, “An animal did.” “What kind of animal?” his mother asked. “The young boy was thoughtful for a moment, then he smiled: “One of Jesus’ little lambs.”

The father was standing at the edge of a cliff admiring the sea below, the sandwiches clutched in his hand. His son approached him and tugged at his coat. “Mother says it isn’t safe here,” said the boy,” and you’re either to come away or else give me the sandwiches.”

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, “I’m surprised at you. Don’t you remember how we used to drive you nearly crazy with water guns?” Mom grinned, then replied, “Oh, I remember!”

It’s hard to save money when your neighbors keep buying things you can’t afford.

An old man sat in the front pew all through the church service with his head bowed. After the service concluded, the preacher went up to him and asked why he had slept through the entire sermon.

“I wasn’t sleeping,” the man said. “I was praying.”

“That’s very good,” the preacher said, happily. “Tell me, what were you so earnestly praying for?”

“A new preacher,” said the old man.

The exterminator called one of his clients. “I’m very sorry to tell you this, Mrs. Lee,” he said, “but your check just came back.” “We are even then,” the lady said. “So did all those ants you promised me you had driven out of my house forever!”

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