Back to School Funnies
On the first day back to school, the teacher asked, “Who can tell me what 2 + 2 equals?”
A boy raised his hand and said, “It depends. During the school year it’s 4. During summer vacation it’s, ‘Ask me again in August!’”
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A boy sighed on the first day of school and said, “Summer always feels too short.”
His grandfather smiled. “Don’t worry. Christmas break will feel even shorter.”
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Mom noticed her son’s backpack seemed lighter than usual.
“Did you clean it out?”
“No,” he replied. “I just figured out it weighs less if I leave my homework at school.”
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The song leader said, “Remember, sing from your heart.”
One member whispered, “Good, because if I sing from my voice, we’re all in trouble.”
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A teacher asked, “Can anyone recite this week’s memory verse?”
One boy stood proudly and said, “I can’t remember it… but I definitely remember I was supposed to memorize it.”
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A woman told her friend, “Our congregation has the friendliest people anywhere.” Her friend asked, “How do you know?” She replied, “Because when I fell asleep during the sermon, four different people came over afterward to check on me.”
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One Sunday the minister preached a long sermon about patience. After the worship service, a little boy shook his hand and said, “Preacher, when I grow up, I want to be just like you.” The minister smiled proudly and asked, “Because you want to preach?” The boy said, “No sir — because nobody can make you go to bed when you talk too long.”
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A fisherman came home with an empty bucket, and his wife asked, “Didn’t the fish bite today?” He smiled and said, “Oh, they bit all right. They just had the good sense to let go before I could reel them in.”
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Two friends were fishing from a small boat when one said, “I don’t think I’ll ever remember this spot.” The other replied, “Don’t worry—I brought a permanent marker. I’ll just put an X on the side of the boat.”