On The Lighter Side (August 2016)

Fifty-Fifty The editor of a small-town newspaper, furious over several bills that had just been passed, printed a scathing editorial with the enormous headline, “HALF THE LEGISLATORS ARE CROOKS.” Many local politicians were outraged and exerted tremendous pressure on the editor to print a retraction. He finally gave in to their demands and ran his apology with the headline, “HALF THE LEGISLATORS ARE NOT CROOKS.” The Paper Student: “I don’t understand why my grade was so low. How did I do on my research paper?” Teacher: “Actually, you didn’t turn in a research paper. You turned in a random assemblage of sentences. In fact, the sentences you apparently kidnapped in the dead of night and forced into this violent and arbitrary plan of yours clearly seemed to be placed on the pages against their will. Reading your paper was like watching unfamiliar, uncomfortable people interacting at a cocktail party that…