On the Lighter Side (May 2018)

[131 words]

Things Mom Taught Me:
Logic: “If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can’t go to the store with me.”
Humor: “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
Justice: “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. Then you’ll see what it’s like!”

Can You Guess?
Q: When do you go at red and stop at green?
A: When you’re eating a watermelon.

Wrong Interpretation
After iMessaging back and forth with his wife, a man jokingly commanded Siri to pass along this message: “You need to get back to work now; you have a husband to support.”
Here’s what Siri sent: “You need to get back to work now; you have a has-been to support.”