[ 216 words]
Q: How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring.
Q: What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?
A: Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
What Every Girl Wants for Valentine’s Day
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine’s Day.
“Yes,” came the answer from Tony, “I bought her a belt and a bag.”
“That was very kind of you,” Jim added, “I hope she appreciated the thought.”
Tony smiled as he replied, “So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.”
500 Valentine’s Day Cards
As Mike walked into a post office just before Valentine’s Day, he couldn’t help noticing a middle-aged, balding man standing in a corner sticking “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. Then the man got out a bottle of perfume from his pocket and started spraying scent over the envelopes.
By now Mike’s curiosity had gotten the better of him, and so he asked the man why he was sending all those cards. The man replied, “I’m sending out 500 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?'”
“But why?” asked Mike.
“I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replied.