A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, “low bridge ahead.” Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman gets our of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got your truck stuck, huh?” The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”
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A little boy had just polished off all the cookies in the kitchen. His mother came in and seeing the empty cookie jar and the crumbs, said to the wee lad, “Son, who ate all the cookies?”
The little boy replied, “An animal did.”
”What kind of animal?” his mother asked.
The young lad was thoughtful for a moment, then he smiled.
“One of Jesus’ little Jambs!”
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Three sisters ages 92, 94, and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses.
She yells to the other sisters, “Was I getting in or out of the bath?”
The 94-year-old yells back, “I don’t know, I’ll come up and see.” She starts up the stairs and pauses. “Was I going up the stairs, or down?”
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea and listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, “I sure hope I never get that forgetful!” She knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells, “I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door.”
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A man in our town who used to never come to services began coming to worship every Sunday morning with his wife. After two or three Sundays, the preacher shook hands with him and said, “It makes me happy to see you coming every Sunday with your wife.”
“Well, preacher,” said the backslider, “It’s all a matter of choice. I decided I’d rather hear your sermon than hers.”
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A mother wanted to teach her daughter a moral lesson. She gave the little girl a quarter and a dollar for church. “Put whichever one you want in the collection plate and keep the other for yourself,” she told the girl.
When they were coming out of the church building, the mother asked her daughter which amount she had given.
“Well,” said the little girl, “I was going to give the dollar, but just before the collection the man in the pulpit said that we should all be cheerful givers. I knew I’d be a lot more cheerful if I gave the quarter, so I did.”