[445 words]
Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, an elderly woman received a jury duty notice. She called the clerk’s office to remind them that she was exempt because of her age.
“You need to come in and fill out the exemption forms,” the clerk said.
“But I filled them out last year,” she replied.
”You have to fill them out every year.”
“Why? Do you think I’m getting younger?”
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Disharmony in Washington, D.C., proved a hassle for Philadelphia’s Independence Hall last October.
A sign outside read “The Great Debates Program, ‘Is American Politics Broken?’ has been relocated due to Government Shutdown.”
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Some criminals prove all too well that intelligence is not a prerequisite for a life of crime. A San Diego district attorney asked a robbery victim to study a lineup of five people. The D.A. had placed the suspect in the middle and had told each man to step forward saying,”Give me all your money, and I need some change in quarters and dimes.” The first two did it right. Then the middle fellow broke the case. When they asked him to step up and say the lines, he argued, “But that wasn’t what I said to her!”
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A woman was waiting in the checkout line at a shopping center. Her arms were laden with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. By her actions and deep sighs, it was obvious she was in a hurry and not happy about the slowness of the line. When the cashier called for a price check on a box of soap, the woman remarked indignantly, “Well, I’ll be lucky to get out of here and home before Christmas!” “Don’t worry, ma’am,” replied the clerk. “With that wind kicking up out there and that brand new broom you have there, you’ll be home in no time.”
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The Kilgore, Texas, News-Herald reported of a motorist removed unconscious from his wrecked car and carried to a nearby gas station. He came to, opened his eyes and began to struggle violently. Eventually he was subdued and taken to a hospital. When asked why he struggled so hard to get away from his rescuers, he explained that they had taken him to a SHELL station, and somebody was standing in front of the “S.”
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Two hunters had been wandering in the woods for several hours and had been unable to find their way out. Finally, one of them was overcome with panic. He said, “We’re lost! They’ll never find us! What are we going to do?” The other hunter said, “Relax. Just shoot an extra deer and the game warden will be here in two minutes!”