[430 words]
A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day, she floored her grandmother by asking, “Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? The virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?”
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According to a news story, if global warming continues, in 20 years the only chance we’ll have to see a polar bear is in a zoo. So in other words, nothing is going to change.
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Six-year old Angie, and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church.
Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had enough, “You’re not suppose to talk out loud in church.”
“Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, “See those two men standing by the door? They’re the hushers.”
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“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” – Mark Twain
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I gave my father $100 and said, “Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.” So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally polished my halo, while I asked, “No, how are we alike?” “You’re both old,” he replied.
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A preacher trained his horse to go when he said, “Praise the Lord,” and to stop when he said, “Amen.” The preacher mounted the horse, said, “Praise the Lord” and went for a ride. When he wanted to stop for lunch, he said, “Amen.” He took off again, saying, “Praise the Lord.” The horse started going toward the edge of a cliff. The preacher got excited and said, “Whoa!” Then he remembered and said, “Amen,” and the horse stopped at the edge of the cliff. The preacher was so relieved and grateful that he looked up to heaven and said, “Praise the Lord!”
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A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to a dentist. “
I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want Novocaine because I’m in a big hurry,” the woman said. “Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way.”
The dentist was quite impressed. “You’re certainly a courageous woman,” he said. “Which tooth is it?”
The woman turned to her husband and said, “Show him your tooth, dear.”