[328 words]
Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: “Let’s play Christmas. I’ll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I’ll give you away.”
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A man was applying for credit at a department store.
Clerk: What do you do for a living?
Man: I’m a tree trimmer.
Clerk: What do you do after Christmas?
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A mother was looking over her young son’s fill-in-the-blank homework. One line: “At Christmas, we exchange gifts with __.”
His response: “Receipts.”
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Q: What does December have that other months don’t have?
A: The letter D.
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After Thanksgiving dinner, the adults gathered in the living room to exchange reminiscences, while the children went into the family room to play. Suddenly our hostess noticed that an elderly relative was missing.
“Where’s Aunt Florence?” she asked.
From across the room came a masculine drawl, “Oh, she’s with the kids, bridging the generation gap.”
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When a music student brought his French horn to a music shop for repair, he complained that the instrument “felt stuffy” and he couldn’t blow air through it. The music store owner knew it’s not unusual to find partial blockages in brass instruments if small items get lodged in the tubing, but when he tested the instrument, the horn was completely blocked. After much probing and prodding, a small tangerine dropped out of the bell.
“Oh,” said the musician when the owner handed him the fruit. Seeing the bewildered look on the store owner’s face, he explained, “My mom used the horn for a cornucopia in a Thanksgiving centerpiece.”
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The checkout clerk at the supermarket was unusually cheerful even though it was near closing time. “You must have picked up a ton of groceries today,” a customer said to the checker. “How can you stay so pleasant?”
“We can all count our blessings,” the clerk replied. “The hardest part of this job is the turkeys and the watermelons. I just thank God that Thanksgiving doesn’t come in July.”