When I was a kid toilet paper was so cheap we could just throw it in trees.
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Things that used to hurt my back:
Jumping off garages
Crashing my bike
Falling out of trees
Diving into the shallow end
Contact sports
Things that hurt my back now:
Sneezing
Mopping the floor
Washing dishes
Brushing my teeth
Tying my shoes
Getting out of bed
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Organizing a hide and seek tournament is difficult, because good players are hard to find.
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If a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud, or an udder failure?
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My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters.
My daughter Chewbacca…not so much.
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I have completed the first item on my bucket list. I have the bucket.
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I grilled a chicken last night. I was determined to know why he crossed the road.
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Not saying I’m old, but back in my day we pulled maps out of the glove box and traveled like pirates.
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He may not have been the smartest person in the Bible, but Abraham knew a Lot.
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I’m getting stronger with age. I can now lift $100 worth of groceries with one hand.
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Someone told me that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I pretty sure it’s true, because I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.