Sorry Kanye, But You Aren’t God

[516 words] To say that Kanye West has an ego is quite an understatement. He believes one would have to go back to Beethoven to find his equal; he has compared himself to Picasso; and he has claimed, “I am Steve Jobs,” and “I am Walt Disney.” But his claims to be on par with…

Payback

[355 words] I believe one of the hardest lessons for a child to learn growing up is not to return evil for evil. For example, when one child pushes another, the response is typically for the other child to push back in return. As a child growing up, I had an older sister I felt…

A Pool of Sin

[152 words] Getting into sin is a little like getting into a swimming pool. When you first get into a pool, it feels cold and uncomfortable. However, after just a few minutes, you get used to the water temperature and it doesn’t feel uncomfortable anymore. In fact, if you stay in the pool for very…

Church Names

[224 words] Have you ever paid much attention to the names on church signs that you drive past? Church names can be very interesting. Here are a few that I’ve heard about: First Church of the Last Chance World on Fire Revival and Military Academy (in Florida), Hell Hole Swamp Baptist Church (in South Carolina),…

All Things Work Together For Good

[265 words] We’ve heard it said or maybe even said it ourselves, “Nothing good ever happens to me.” We get some bad news, things don’t go as planned, etc., and we immediately respond negatively. I recognize that some folks experience more misfortune than others, and maybe you’re one who has dealt with an overwhelming amount…

Teaching Kids Sexual Purity

[254 words] Our culture is in a sexual free fall. The average age for first-time sexual intercourse for boys is 15.9 (girls 16.2). The vast majority of students are sexual by the time they are high school seniors. By the way, the percentage of “Christian” kids is no different. Parents don’t know what to do.…

Paul or Peale?

[220 words] The name of Dr. Norman Vincent Peale is not the household name it once was. However, he was one of the most widely read preachers and authors of the 20th century. The great problem is that there are so many today who would rather follow preachers like Norman Vincent Peale than listen to…

The Legend of the ‘Taste Berry’

[188 words] In Africa it is said that there is a certain fruit called the “taste berry.” This berry supposedly can affect one’s taste for several hours. Not only is the berry itself sweet, it makes other things seem sweeter when eaten. What a wonderful fruit this must be if it really exists and works…

Man’s Greatest Journey

[191 words] Man loves to travel. The journeys of man have taken him from pole to pole, and from ocean’s bottom to the top of the skies…and beyond! Wherever man goes (and for whatever the reason) man cannot escape what he is. Our character sticks closer than a shadow. Spiritually, man is a traveler also.…

Unseen Dirt

[116 words] Lord, it’s not the dirt and clutter in plain sight that nags at me. It’s the hidden dirt, you know, behind the refrigerator, in the closets, under the beds–dirt that no one sees or knows about but me. It’s the same way with my life, God, as it’s those hidden sins that I…

Confidence!

[234 words] “You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand” Psalm 16:11. Looking back on it, I realize, of course, that the compost pile was really just at the end of a long backyard on the edge…

What Gossip Says About You

[160 words] Many people think gossip is a harmless diversion. However, a study on gossip found out that it indeed hurts someone, one you might not expect. Researchers set up a test where subject watched a video were actor talked about a third party. In the videos, the actor would either say something very negative…

Some Church ‘Involvement’ Issues

[86 words] • People who’d like to get involved, but aren’t sure how. • People who are involved, but aren’t sure how to involve others, or are reluctant to do so. • People who are responsible for involving others, but have little success finding dependable people. These issues are like the proverbial “elephant in the…

Where Were You When God Wanted to Bless You?

[244 words] “Therefore say thou unto them, Thus saith the Lord of hosts; Turn ye unto me, saith the Lord of hosts, and I will turn unto you, saith the Lord of hosts” (Zechariah 1:3). When a storm devastates a neighborhood, a drunk driver destroys an entire family, or a gunman kills unsuspecting children, someone…

Hesitation Will Keep Many Out of Heaven

[220 words] “Then Agrippa said unto Paul, Almost thou persuadest me to be a Christian” (Acts 26:28). Far too many find themselves in the position of Agrippa. They know what they should do, but they hesitate. Hesitation will keep many out of heaven. Paul’s response to the king was reasonable and passionate, “I would to…

God Brings Big Things from Little Seeds

[449 words] I read an article not long ago about a team of scientists that attempted to construct a kernel of corn. They had analyzed an actual kernel of corn and broken it down to its molecular makeup and had determined exactly what it was made of. Then, using the same “materials” they constructed an…

Ten Things to Avoid

[42 words] 1. Remorse over yesterday’s failure. 2. Anxiety over today’s problems. 3. Worry over tomorrow’s uncertainty. 4. Procrastination with one’s duty. 5. Resentment of someone’s success. 6. Criticism of a neighbor’s imperfections. 7. Hatred of another’s differences. 8. Impatience with youth’s inexperience. 9. Skepticism of our nation’s future. 10. Unbelief in God’s providence. via…

The True Tragedy

[184 words] A USA Today article about former New England Patriot Aaron Hernandez that he “had played in a Super Bowl and signed a $40 million contract extension before his 24th birthday. His future was one of endless possibilities.” The article went on to say, “the tight end sits in jail, now a convicted murderer;…

‘Because of His Reverence’

[154 words] Throughout the Gospels it is amazing to read about the prayer life of Jesus. It seems as though He was continually longing to be with the Father in prayer. What a great example for us. The Hebrew writer has something interesting to tell us about Jesus’ prayers. Hebrews 5:7 tells us that even…

The Time is Now

[105 words] If you are ever going to love me, Love me now, while I can know The sweet and tender feelings Which from true affection flow. Love me now While I am living. Do not wait until I’m gone And then have it chiseled in marble, Sweet words on ice-cold stone. If you have…

The Day Jesus Lost His Disciples

[175 words] “From that time many of His disciples went back and walked with Him no more” (John 6:66). With one lesson, Jesus lost many of His followers. At what could be considered one of the lowest points in the ministry of Jesus, He fearlessly risked even His own closest followers with one simple and…

10 Reasons to Take Our Salvation Seriously

[46 words] Ten virgins (Matthew 25:1). Nine lepers (Luke 17:17). Eight survivors (2 Peter 2:5). Seven wicked spirits (Luke 11:26). Sixth seal (Revelation 6:12). Five yoke of oxen (Luke 14:19). Four winds (Matthew 24:1). Three barren years (Luke 13:7). Two masters (Matthew 6:24). One talent man (Matthew 25:28-30). May the Lord help us to count…

A Rough Row to Hoe

[304 words] The Christian life has been described as “headed into a storm, in a storm, or coming out of a storm.” The question for the believer is not if trials will come, but what to do when they do come. The apostle Paul said that “We must through many tribulations enter the kingdom of…

Lack of Knowledge

[250 words] Benjamin Franklin once said “Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn.” There is no question that God places a high value on knowledge and particularly knowledge of His word. Hosea recorded the words of God when He wrote “My people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge.…

‘I’ Exam: Focus On Christ

[341 words] Where is your focus? This is a question each Christian must answer for himself. Christianity is not something that we do for just a little while. It is a way of life that must be lived everyday. Neither is it like a coat that we put on and take off with the changing…

Are You Sick Enough to Be Saved?

[147 words] “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners” (Mark 2:17). Jesus did not mean there were people in the world so righteous they would not need Him. Rather, only those who realize how sick they are will…

Keep On Playing

[288 words] Many of you have seen the picture of Roxanne Chalifoux, the crying piccolo player from Villanova. Just after her team had lost a three point game to underdog North Carolina State in the NCAA basketball tourney, the cameras captured her sadness on the jumbo-tron and later on national TV. I was impressed with…

People Like To Be Asked

[298 words] Some time ago I read a story in which Tip O’Neill, former Speaker of the House, was once told by his neighbor, Mrs. Elizabeth O’Brien, “Tom, I’m going to vote for you tomorrow even though you didn’t ask me to.” This shocked Tip. He said, “I’ve lived across the street from you for…

Are You Excited About Heaven?

[360 words] Lets talk about heaven. Are you excited about heaven? If there was a bus going to heaven today, would you be ready to jump on board and go home? Many people claim to want to go to heaven, but few people want to go right now. Over and over I have seen the…

We Can Thank God for His Great Plan

[203 words] If Joseph’s brothers never sell him to the Midianites, then Joseph never goes to Egypt. If Joseph never goes to Egypt, he never is sold to Potiphar. If he is never sold to Potiphar, Potiphar’s wife never falsely accuses him of rape. If Potiphar’s wife never falsely accuses him of rape, then he…

How Do You Feel?

[596 words] God gave us feelings. We feel joy and sadness, anger and fear. These emotions test us. They can help or hinder us in our choice between right and wrong. Who we are and where we spend eternity depends on how we handle them. It feels good to be happy. God wants us to…
Funny Jokes for Church Bulletin

On the Lighter Side (May 2015)

[415 words] MOTHERS OF THE FAMOUS Columbus’ Mother: “I don’t care what you’ve discovered, Chris. You still could have written.” Michelangelo’s Mother: “Mike, can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?” Mary’s Mother: “I’m not upset that your lamb…