“We had a power outage at our house this morning and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD , iPad, and my new surround sound music system were all shut down.
“Then I discovered my phone battery was flat and, to top it all off, it was raining outside so I couldn’t play golf.
“I went to the kitchen to make coffee and then realized this too requires power, so I sat and talked with my wife for a few hours.
“She seems like a pretty nice person.”
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I asked a friend what color his preacher’s eyes were. He said, “I don’t know. When he prays, he shuts his eyes, and when he preaches, I close mine.”
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One of my students attended a lecture on sexual immorality and wrote this in his review: “The number one way to keep your child obstinate is to enroll them in sports.”
Is that verifiable?
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Eighteen-year-old Jennifer Conner, a New York teen with a high hairdo, was diagnosed in 1989 with hearing loss and a serious ear clogged with hairspray.
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A recent online discussion followed the question, “Is it appropriate for girls to ask guys out for dates?” One teenage boy wrote, “It would be okay for a girl to ask me out. It would be surprising, but okay.”
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At a wedding, my granddaughter asked, “Why is a bride always dressed in white?”
Strugglingto find an answer the little girl would understand, I replied, “Because white represents happiness, and today is the happiestday of her life!”
Her next question was, “Then why is the groom dressed in black?”
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A third-grade Sunday school teacher was giving a lesson on the commandment, “Honor thy father and thy mother.”
“Now, does anyone know a commandment for brothers and sisters?”
One sharp girl raised her hand and said, “Thou shalt not kill.”
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While I was shopping with my eight-year-old, he spotted a toy he wanted but didn’t have enough money to buy. Since I wanted to teach him financial responsibility, I told him I couldn’t give him the extra money.
In a brilliant display of resourcefulness, he reached into his mouth and, the astonishment of onlookers, pulled out a loose baby tooth and handed it to me.
He got his toy.